Today has been a ridiculously meaningless day. It has been pouring the entire day. And time. The hours and minutes that goes to waste. The relentless crawl of the needlelike second-hand as it traversed the same circular path over and over again. If only. If only, i can take back time. If only...

Life has been a new low. Almost awesome record-breaking. Tried killing myself. Throw my cello from one corner of the room to another. Cried myself till numbness dance in head and coldness bites clingingly to my limps. Went to east coast, my favourite beach and cycled all night... alone. And how a simple song ache bitterly deeply inside, stirred so much emotions inside a broken heart i can't recognise anymore.

I don't remember love is such a solemn affair. When we have nothing much to talk about. When silence speaks louder anything else. Un-neededly, silence pierces. And if anything who decided to break it, will have to wind it all up, mostly, with angered words and reddened eyes and then even more piercing silence.

Today is a grey day. Grey sky. Grey expression-less faces i see everywhere i go. Grey shops, grey clothes, grey lights, grey everything. It seems how funny, i have been robbed of seeing colours as it is.

So yea. Grey day. It is.

Just some update what i have been doing. I've settled happily into MDC. Playing the cello. I had my first performance on friday and it was purely sight-reading.

I stopped taking as much as photos as before (thank god, i hear some of you say). Probably slowly, i will reduce my posts to pure words.

But those old photos, that i posted up in my blog before. I have actually got them developed and i'm going collage them into a journal-album. It takes up quite a bit of time and it doesn't cost much. Good idea to move on, i hear someone says at the back of my mind.






Spotted a baby lizard not longer than my finger that day. Instead of smacking it to death (and probably let its tail detach from it main body and wriggle around), i took many pictures.



And lastly, this old german cello that graced my teaching room. More than 120 years old. Probably the 2nd oldest cello that i have touched before so far. Old but sounding big and strong. Quartet hates it because it is so loud it is disturbing them.





And i spent my entire night staring at this.. No idea what do you call it.



It reminds me of Christmas. Reminds me of how i sat on the sofa in the teaching room, staring at the Christmas tree that i've erected, and how empty it felt inside. But staring at this, it gives me a chestful of warmth. That brings me to a simple smile. On the lips. The eyes are not smiling. Any more, the song 'i got a feelin' will be the last thing i want to hear.

Today, is a grey day.

And it is a....greyly gray.... day...

Grey-day-calls-for-grey-photos-ly yours
Gray Hughes

Labels: Grey