北北，你最近好吗？吃得好睡的好吗？还习惯你的新生活吗？天气开始热起来了，你要记得多喝水。几天前的我还生病了呢。你要照顾好你自己。。。我。。。。真的好想好想念你。对你的牵挂我还是放不下。你有没有时不时的想起我们？答应我，你不能把我们忘了。我还是很爱你。

It's been 2 months, since you left us. Your face, your voice, your smile and your scent is fading away in my mind slowly. And i am fighting against it. It's not easy, trust me, daddy, but i will try my best. I still remember the last night before you flew to Taiwan, you were holding to my hand, asking me i have enough money for myself. I dismissed you saying that i am fine but you ought to sleep because you have got an early flight. You grab on to my hand and ask me to take care. Did you alreay plan your death? Did you already know everything? I want to know. I need to know.

You know. I almost fainted again today. While jogging at the stadium. It was horrible. I've vomitted too. When will my physical torment ends? Will i follow your footstep and die in a ward one day? I fear. I really fear. I've been into hospital so many times i fear i will go to sleep and just wake up being in a ward in those blue gown with needles and tubes on me again. I'm afraid i might just break down one day.

In the meanwhile, please take care of yourself, beibei.



..... i love this photo. The last photo of us, all together. Remember i drove us to Changi Beach and we had great fun there. There were the huge hermit crabs, the little fishes, the worms and kids and waves.... and us, a complete family.

RIP. Rest, peacefully.

Labels: Daddy